The Zero Tolerance Policy
- Cerys Weaver
- Dec 1, 2018
- 3 min read
About a month ago, I left a club early on my own, fully sober and got into a taxi, texting my friend the entire way. Most of the way was pretty mundane. Small talk with the driver about how busy the night had been, nothing out of the ordinary. Until we were approximately 3 minutes from home and he comes out with, “Why are you on your own?”, stunned, I replied, “That’s not really your business”, “Well don’t you have a boyfriend?”, “Again, not your business”. Thinking at this point he should have taken the hint, but no… he continues... “You should have a boyfriend to protect you”, with slight triumph I replied, “I don’t need a man to protect me”, and are you ready for this disgraceful display of ‘creepy male taxi driver’, “You do when you look the way you do”. Well at this point I demanded he pulled over and I walked the rest of the way because I felt safer outside of the car in central Birmingham, than I did inside.
Thought i’d start with that all too familiar taxi driver story for this blog, however, I do want to draw attention to the media and how it relentlessly sexualises women. I feel this is one of the biggest contributors to the problem of these types of men thinking and acting how they do.
Starting with Snapchat. Oh, Snapchat and your daily news stories. I can promise with certainty that everyday there is a woman, on a beach, or out shopping, usually minding her own business, being sexualised by the news. Comments about their bodies, what they are wearing or not wearing, weight gain,weight loss and worst of all, they love a good post-pregnancy shot. If you’re female, you may be getting a little riled right about now, its anger and I feel it too. It is also hard not to mention wonderful Piers Morgan and his equally wonderful opinions on what talented women should and shouldn’t do with their bodies. As Ariana Grande gracefully pointed out, “Women can be sexual AND talented. Naked and dignified.”
I have noticed a change in a lot of the stories on some news outlets on snapchat and they are starting to break the taboo of talking about female experience which is refreshing to say the least. But there is still a lot to be said on the relentless daily comments on females in the public eye. Why are we still teaching people to sexualise women, to point out their flaws, but not for men? I counted yesterday over 9 stories of women under this critical lens and not a single male. If nothing else, it makes for severely boring news. We’ve seen it all before so why does it have to make headlines.
Something that has struck me has been how little people, in particular men, know about the magnitude of the problem and just how often women are harassed. Every time I leave the house I expect some form of it. It has meant that I have now adopted a zero tolerance policy. In previous years I may have ignored it or shrugged it off, but enough is enough. For once I am choosing to fight fire with fire. It is more about not letting them get away with it and also embarrassing them in the hope that they think twice before doing it again.
A brief outline of my zero tolerance policy in action:
1
Male: grabs/gropes/slaps my body in club.
Me: grabs/shoves them back. “Oh, you want to assault me? I’ll assault you then.”
The shock on their faces is enough satisfaction but the best part… they really don’t like being grabbed ‘unprovoked’… Who knew?!
2
Male: slides hand between my thighs on public transport.
Me: (Relatively Loudly) GET YOUR HAND OFF ME.
Male: (Goes very red and gets up to move away.)
3
Male: Persistently asking for my number/to take me out whilst following me down the street.
Me: I’ve told you no, leave me alone.
Male: Alright then you fucking slag, you ain’t even all that.
The last one I can only compare to that of a toddler throwing a tantrum because he didn’t get what he wanted. Poor guy.
So, I understand certain situations call for certain reactions but ladies, when possible and safe to do so, SHAME HIM. PUBLICLY. No one ever really interferes but at least it will create attention that the harasser was not expecting. It only has to be telling them to leave you alone ever so slightly louder than usual so that a few other ears around may prick up, but I honestly believe calling them out on it helps. It may not stop them harassing but it does give you a little sense of control again.
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